I'm Trying My Hardest To Hold On.

As you may have noticed, lately I haven't been posting.

At all.

I keep on giving excuse after excuse, but... As it turns out, I'm really just... Bored with Wizard101.

I'm trying my hardest to get back into it, though. To be honest, I really don't want to let go, even though it's quite uninteresting at the moment.

And I promise, I promise to everyone, eventually I WILL begin spending more time blogging and W101-ing. Really.

I've thought about it so much--should I just leave? Should I just leave this blog, should I leave Wizard101, or... Even both?

But no. This blog is where the most amazing time of my seemingly bland life began. This is how I sparked a friendship with a girl who's my best friend today, getting her into Wizard101. This is how I met other bloggers, who led me to separate communities throughout different sites and messaging systems throughout the internet where I began to make even more friends (example: Skype Wizards). Even though those communities seem to be tumbling down in my eyes and the eyes of other people, and even though Wizard101 is boring me bit by bit, I'm still trying to find my way back into this community.

I have to say, chuckling to myself, almost... I have to blame most of this on school, irl drama, and... Y'guessed it, Anime. I've been hooked on a good show or two that distracted me. But for the millionth time, I am going to try my hardest to get back into this thing, no matter what.

When I look back, this one website, this one community, and this one game led me to true happiness. One action, creating my own blog, set off a chain of events that, if I hadn't done, probably would have had me far less confident and far less social than I am today.

And again. I will try my best to come back, no matter what.

Eventually, I will be stronger than ever, I promise. Eventually, I'll begin blogging every week, or even more than that. Eventually, I'll log into Wizard101 each and every day, just like the old days.

I promise.

I know the damage has probably already set in, but if you could please just wait one more week. I know I usually make promises and break them involving time, but I can get my act together in one week. I just need to warm up to everything again, get back into everything. 

This whole thing, Wizard101, and its entire community all made me the happiest girl on the planet one time. And I want to experience it again.


As a matter of fact, I haven't truly experienced that Wizard101-style happiness since the recently passed summer.


All I want is to feel it once more, come back into this community that I seem to have almost left, and try my hardest not to slip away again. 


I know it may seem like I'm forcing myself to do this, really, but... If I left, I'd lose all of the possibilities I probably would have had. Meeting new friends, uncovering new stories of the Spiral, gaining newfound inspiration for drawings and writing. And then there's my past, all the memories of what this blog and game have done for me. I want to stay because the past and the present are very, very important to me.


But the present I often take for granted, in the real world and here. And I don't want to anymore. I want to live both lives to the fullest.

And you wanna know what I thought of as the one solution to this? 

Coming back into this community.

After all, it is where everything once started. 


And for the billionth time, once more, with all my heart, I promise.


Just wait one more week, okay?

(Egh... I'm not good at these lenghty post things, am I?)


~The LotusPetal